Are you empty nesters, Gentle Readers? About to be? Have been for years? (John and I fall into that last category, but to be honest, we’re just getting into the swing of things.)
If so, you might be starting to think about space.
Let’s face it: your child’s bedroom takes up valuable square footage in your house. When your adult child leaves home — for college, for a first job, for graduate school, or to travel the world — when is it ok to reclaim that space?
We always should be asking ourselves whether we’re using our rooms best for how we live today. (I’ve blogged about this in the past.) But when “the kids” are involved, communication becomes especially important.
This sounds obvious, but talk with your adult about making changes, especially in the early period of their independence. You may be surprised how nostalgic they are.
And remember that adult children may return for periods of time, so keeping SOME type of bedroom for a while is wise.
Here’s how I’ve played it so far, and how I think I’ll play it moving forward.
- If they’ve just left for school, keep the bedroom as it is, high school memorabilia and all. (This is the Before picture of a teenager’s bedroom…)
(…and this is the After, from another angle.)
- If they’ve just graduated but are coming home for an indefinite period, box up the mementos but don’t redecorate. Continue to consider the space their bedroom.
- If they’re settled in a new city, I think it’s ok to turn the room into a guest bedroom. Keep a bed, but begin to repurpose if you like: add a Peloton, a workspace, etc.
- If it’s clear they will not live with you again, redecorate and repurpose as you see fit. If a pull-out sofa doesn’t fit into your vision, plan to put them up in a hotel when they visit. (This is the transformation of my daughters’ childhood bedroom into AED world headquarters, before we moved to a different location.)
My twin daughters graduated from college last spring. One has just started graduate school in another city and (fingers crossed) should have a job there after that, so she may call her new apartment “home” for a good long while.
We let her take (foisted upon her) a lamp and desk from her bedroom here, and we encouraged (nagged and nagged) her to dismantle her impressive gallery wall of memorabilia.
That depersonalized the room just a bit, so guests won’t feel like interlopers. I also — with her permission — got rid of the ghastly rug (above) she chose in middle school and replaced it with the wool one from our bedroom to make the room…nicer ;)
We may box up the school tchochkes and sports team pictures on her shelves, but we won’t make her take them until she’s ready (emotionally and space-wise). We will not redecorate or repurpose her bedroom just yet: it’s still her room. At least for now.
If you keep timing and communication in mind when thinking about next steps for your adult child’s bedroom, you should be able to preserve family harmony and make sure no space in your home is underused.
Annie Elliott Design works in the Washington, D.C. area and other fun places, such as Nantucket, Park City, Tahoe, and New York. We’re now scheduling projects for late fall. Please contact us to discuss.
