Letting go: to get what we want, sometimes we have to say goodbye to an item we love : Annie Elliott Design

When redesigning a room, Gentle Readers, we start by thinking about how we want the space to feel.

Not how it ultimately will look — that reveals itself during the design process — but how it will feel.

Blue room with cozy large chair and many different patterns in an urban family room — Cozy!

What vibe are we going for? Bright, cozy, or stimulating? What will you be doing here: eating, watching TV, playing games? At what time of day: weekday mornings, weekend afternoons, evenings? And with whom: your children, dog, spouse, friends, or by yourself?

Game room with orange and yellow tiger wallpaper and a blue leather chair in Washington, DC

It’s always important to gain clarity around those questions before we redesign a space. But it’s especially important when you’d like to work with an item that you already have.

Case in point.

One of my clients had an under-used family room. It was essentially a pass-through — a long narrow room connecting the living room and kitchen.

View into a somber room with a red brick fireplace from a sage green living room — Standing in the living room, looking into the family room

Family room with brick fireplace, brown leather sofa and dark Oriental rug — Heading in…

Doorway from a tan room into a kitchen — …and sweeping left to the kitchen entrance

The client was a landscape architect, and the extra-tall windows in this room looked out onto a beautiful, lush garden. Lucky!

Large dog on a brown leather sofa looking out the window — Henry really enjoyed the view

These are some of the words she used to describe the family room she wanted us to create: bright, sunny, happy, lighthearted, joyful, fresh, playful, garden-y…

But then the kicker. She really wanted to keep her dark burgundy Oriental rug.

Floor-to-ceiling windows in a traditional family room — Huh.

We tried, Gentle Readers. We really did.

But we couldn’t reconcile her goal with a dark red traditional rug. To me, that kind of rug is better suited to a space described as cozy, library-like, traditional…even somber and serious.

This is the room we ended up designing:

Bright, cheerful family room with blue and white wallpaper, white brick fireplace, sage green chairs, and light blue sofa — Painting the fireplace white was critical

Living room with blue and white wallpaper, linen drapes, and light gray and white flatweave wool rug — Talk about a turnaround!

She LOVES it. (As do we!)

Would this sunny, happy room have been as successful with that burgundy rug? Methinks not. The light gray and cream wool flatweave (stain-treated) was the perfect option, design-wise. As a bonus, it’s a broadloom, so we could cut it to fill the entire room. It has a unifying effect.

Listen. Do I want perfectly good rugs and furniture ending up in landfills? Of course not.

Antique chest against blue and white wallpaper with an English bird engraving

But when I gently suggest that there is NO WAY you’ll be happy if we keep X, Y, or Z in a room we’re designing, we have other options.

We can find another spot for it in your house, give it to a friend, put it on your neighborhood listserv, or donate it to an amazing charity such as Furnish Hope.

I love re-using an existing piece when we can. But when “working with” turns into “tail wagging the dog,” sometimes you have to let it go to achieve the effect you want.

Light green lounge chair with light blue and plaid ottoman in bright sunny room — All “after” pictures are by Stacy Zarin Goldberg

Annie Elliott Design is based in Washington, D.C. It’s holiday party season! And luckily, my book, My Neighbor Saw Me Naked, and Other Reasons You Need Drapes, makes a terrific host or hostess gift. You can buy it right here!