Well, whew.
Pottery Barn had debuted so many adorable sheets and rugs in the past few years that I felt my “Pottery Barn only as a last resort, please” stance starting to weaken.
But today I received my “Thanksgiving” Pottery Barn catalog.
It could have been sent 3 years ago. Or even 4. It is so uncreative, so unimaginative, so bland, and so sad that I feel my core anti-PB values returning.
The case goods are generally oversized, clumsy, and dark. I cannot in good conscience let this slide: the Markham Console Bar is an absurd piece of furniture. Ridiculous and absurd.
The club chairs are gargantuan. The tree ornaments are gold or glass.The chandeliers are made of wine bottles.
(News flash, PB: you’re not Ingo Maurer. People know that. They love you anyway. Your wine bottle chandelier has neither the charm nor the whimsy of the Campari pendant light. You know better than that.)
Where are the Anthropologie-aspirational linens and floorcoverings you’d been playing with, PB? That was working for me. (And you didn’t have to pay ridiculously clad, gamine, vacant-eyed supermodels to pose with them, either.)
No, the subtitle of the Thanksgiving Pottery Barn catalog should be, “safety first.” The walls are beige, the sofas are tan…
…and anything that could be classified as “accent” or “accessory” is red. Benjamin Moore’s Million Dollar Red, according to the PB fan deck. (Which, funnily enough, I do NOT have a problem with.)
Times are tough, I know. People are nesting. I know. But give your public a little credit. Just because they/we want comfort doesn’t mean we want the comfort of yesteryear.
Pottery Barn, may I remind you that with great power comes great responsibility. You have the power. Man up; evolve, for crying out loud; and bring the well-meaning consumers of America with you.
Gentle Readers: you know that I try to be positive in this blog. The last thing the blogosphere needs is more design snarkiness. It’s like what Jenji Kohan, creator of Weeds, said about fart jokes: they’re funny, but they’re too easy. Same thing here. But I was so bummed out by this catalogue that I couldn’t remain silent. This isn’t one earnest Etsy pillow maker we’re talking about; it’s a giant corporate entity that has unlimited design, research, and advertising resources. I figure they can handle a little constructive criticism from bossy color. I still don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but you know what? They hurt mine today. So it’s only fair.