The other day I was sitting in a furniture showroom, waiting for the rep. to get me some pricing. I picked up the big fat catalog on her desk and flipped to the back: “Accessories.”
Gentle Readers, what I saw shocked me. Did you have any idea that animals throughout the world are being forced into servitude in the name of home accessories? I mean, they HAVE to be forced. No self-respecting creature would volunteer for this.
I know birds are everywhere right now, but should they really be offering you toilet paper?
And dogs – shouldn’t he have a bone in his mouth? Or a pheasant?
Let me ask you this: after I accept the proffered toilet paper, am I expected to maintain eye contact as I put it to use? Or do I look away and pretend I’m not being watched? What’s the etiquette here?
Ah, I see: the monkey politely turns his back.
(He looks like he’s about to need some TP himself.)
Holy crap. Is this crocodile smoking?
The frogs have it the worst. They choke on your tape…
Ensure that your business cards are close at hand, near your snacks…
And have your pen at the ready.
(See the crowns? These frogs were princes at one time, probably.)
I think the look on this guy’s face says it all:
Clearly this is not a happy situation. I’m sure they get breaks sometimes,
But probably not that often.
I don’t want to tell you what company this is, because some of their furniture is quite nice. But holy cow.
Wait, scratch that. I don’t even want to know what the cows are up to.