Not so very long ago, a conversation took place.
Annie: So. Darling. About the loveseat situation in the living room.
John (not looking up from newspaper): Hmmm?
A: The loveseat situation. Remember? The small sofa? From my parents?
J: The one in Georgie’s room?
A: Yes! Well, it WAS in Georgie’s room. Remember, we moved it into living room for much-needed seating?
J (looking up): What ABOUT the loveseat?
A (exasperated): It needs reupholstering!
J (Raises eyebrows. Remains silent.)
A: Remember when we painted the living room yellow –
J: We?
A: – remember when we painted the room yellow, I threw a white sheet over that little sofa?
J:
A: I did that to test how a white sofa would look in there!
J:
A: This isn’t NEWS, John! We’ve been TALKING about this!
J (after a time): Hasn’t one of the cats been, ah, giving that loveseat a hard time recently?
A (exasperated again): Well, yes! That’s why there’s a blue thingy on it now. And that’s one of the many reasons we have to recover it! And probably get the upholsterer to replace at least some of the cushions. Maybe all of them, actually.
J: How much is this going to cost?
A: Well, that depends.
J: On what?
A: On whether we also –
J: We?
A: – on whether we also recover those darn chairs!
J (Raises eyebrows. Remains silent.)
A: John, we TALKED about this!
J:
A: We DID!
J:
A (inhaling deeply): John. I said at the beginning of the year that my #1 New Year’s Resolution – and you know I NEVER make those dumb resolutions, so you can see how important this is – my #1 New Year’s Resolution was to do whatever it takes to be happy with our living room.
J: I recall.
A: I am a decorator! It’s humiliating! HUMILIATING to be a decorator and not be proud of my own living room!
J: Recalling isn’t the same thing as agreeing.
A (with tears in her eyes): We’re so close! SO VERY CLOSE!
J (knowing the tears are fake): Annie.
A: All we need to do is decide what fabric to use. On all 3 pieces. I’ve been working on that!
J:
A: My Gentle Readers say that they don’t think a white sofa is the way to go. I’m inclined to agree with them.
J:
A: But I’m sick of the orange. Sick of it! So I was thinking pink. Dark pink. Maybe a pink and white pattern on the little sofa, and then just do the chairs in white with maybe pink piping or pink throw pillows?
And I’ve been looking at indoor/outdoor fabrics, so that the cat doesn’t, well, if there’s a mishap, then, well, then it would still be ok!
J (folding paper and putting it down): Annie.
A:
J: Annie. Don’t get mad. But can you stop for a second? What’s the big project we’re planning next year?
A (under her breath): Kmmphbrrfkjrch.
J: What?
A (heaving a great sigh): Renovating the kitchen.
J: And?
A: And re-doing the back porch! Ok? Ok? Is that what you want me to say?
J: All I’m saying is that we have big, big house things to spend our money on right now.
A: But the porch is FALLING OFF! We don’t have a choice! That should paid out of some “unavoidable disaster” fund or something. Not the decorating fund.
J: We don’t have an “unavoidable disaster fund.” Nor, actually, do we have a decorating fund, now that I think about it.
A: So. Are you saying I can’t reupholster the sofa?
J: I’m not saying you CAN’T do anything. I’m just saying that if you spend money now on, say, upholstering THREE pieces of furniture, then maybe it means making some compromises down the road that you won’t want to make.
A: Like no marble countertops?
J: Like no marble countertops, exactly.
A: But something must be done!
J: And something can be done. But maybe it doesn’t have to involve reupholstering 3 pieces of furniture. Maybe there’s a less expensive alternative.
A: I’m going to have to think about this.
J: You take all the time you need.
A:
J: Baby cakes.
A: Hmph.
To be continued.
